A Little Rattled Up That's All
by Commander Fiction
Summary: *Warning for mature readers only!* When Kirk experiences a traumatic event, he has trouble coping with it, to the extent where he remains absolutely silent. It's up to Bones and Spock to bring their normally rowdy and boisterous Captain Kirk back to life. Kirk Whump.
1. Chapter 1

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"James Tiberius Kirk, a restless, young, defiant, rebellious, charming Captain of the USS Enterprise and just because he's a daring Captain doesn't mean he doesn't get himself into some real trouble, but this time it was different, very different."_

A Little Rattled Up That's All

 **Disclaimer:** ** _*Warning! Contains adult themes, such as swearing, sexual content, suicide mentions, and violence, for mature readers only*_**

 **Chapter 1: What The Hell Happened**

Kirk was neatly seated at the bar table, a nice refreshing alcoholic beverage firm within in his grasp. Spock would have yelled at him for drinking on the job, or some sort of breaking of regulations. But to be honest he didn't give a shit today.

He was tired. More so than usual.

The young Captain only received comfort from the nice drink in his hand. He was the Captain; he needed to be strong and courageous. And most of all he needed to set an example for his crew, which he was failing at currently.

Most of the crew were somewhere on the planet, enjoying each others' company. But Kirk being Kirk said he needed a breather and went to the closest bar. The planet wasn't Earth, but it damn sure looked similar.

It was about ten minutes later when another man seated himself across from him. Kirk barely gazed up from his half empty cup to stare at the stranger. Usually there were some red flags shooting up, but today his mind was buzzed.

The man looked at least six and a half feet tall, his hair in locks of brown and his eyes yellow. His skin was tanned, must likely he worked outside a lot. Tattoos crawled up his skin and nipped his neck.

Jim half smirked and shut his eyes, letting the noise of the bar wash over him. He had almost forgotten about the man sitting next to him, but quickly remembered when his voice brought him back to the living.

"You are tired, are you not?" The man asked slowly, like he was unsure if he was speaking the correct language.

"What's it to you?" Kirk snapped in reply, his head throbbing.

"Well, can't wait too long or you pass out right here." The strange man hissed and Jim raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" James slurred, noticing his spinning vision.

"I drugged you." The man squeaked and before Kirk could say or do anything he felt his pockets being searched.

His ID, gun, money, and anything else in his pockets were dumped out and the man stashed it on his person. Kirk tried to form words but his head felt heavy.

His mind was fogged, like a large cloud had decided to settle inside of his head.

Rough hands grasped him and he was pulled to his feet, he felt his left arm get slung around the man's shoulders. Feet dragging, Kirk barely managed to keep his eyes open.

He was being walked outside and once out a cold breeze toiled into his hair. Blue eyes focused and refocused as he tried to remember every turn the man made.

It took about five minutes for the man to reach his location and now Kirk was a little more lucid. The man dumped him onto a bed, using handcuffs to secure him to the headboard. Jim looked around slowly, his head still banging from the drugs.

Damn those drugs.

Groggily his gaze flickered from side to side. The room was trash. Broken electronics sat in different parts of the room. A table located off to his right was missing a leg and the carpet on the floor had strange red and green stains. And don't even get started with the smell.

Movement caught his eye, it was the man. He was returning from the bathroom. Strange, he hadn't realized he had left.

The man was only dressed in trousers now and Kirk could clearly see that there was more tats then skin on the man.

"Who are you?" He questioned through clench teeth, his wrists slicing on the cuffs.

"Don't worry bout' me, I'm just in it for the pleasure." The man replied and Kirk swallowed back.

"What?" Kirk blabbed, blinking a few times.

"Ya'know, the fun." The man replied and got closer.

"You-you're g-gay?" Kirk stammered, fear becoming relevant in his eyes.

"Guess you could say dat', I just like em' men cos' they put up a bet'r fight then em' women." He replied and Kirk bit his lower lip.

The man then climbed into the bed, his breath awkwardly panting on Kirk's cheek. Jim would have fought it but his mind was still foggy and he couldn't get his legs to move. Before he knew it he was down and out, completely bare.

* * *

Spock sat down besides Leonard McCoy, or Bones, whichever he preferred.

"Where is the Captain? He has been absent for exactly: 4 hours 22 minutes and 6 seconds and counting." Spock questioned sharply and glanced over at the medical Doctor.

"How should I know?" Bones defended himself, but he did feel a tinge of worry for their Captain.

Something was off, he would have contacted them by now, but he did have another 38 minutes before he was overdue.

"We'll wait until 2200, and if he still isn't back we can send a search team." Bones stated and Spock nodded.

"Sounds like a plan Doctor." Spock replied and left McCoy in the Sick Bay to tend to his work.

* * *

Kirk peeled his eyes open, pants escaping from his lips. The man was asleep upon an armrest in the corner. Both men were nude and it did bother Kirk. Desperately Jim slowly sat up, his body still shaking. Quietly he looked at the cuffs, trying to find a way out.

In mere seconds he found his way out. There were some needles on the three-legged table. Trembling, Kirk adjusted himself so he could pick up the thin object with his teeth. Once he got a firm clamp on one he sat upright. By twisting his raw wrists he managed to unlock one of the cuffs and quickly did the other.

Once free, Kirk slid his feet onto the cool ground. The pressure of the floor beneath his feet caused him to shiver. Swallowing, Jim gathered his scattered half-torn clothes and dressed his shaking body.

After he was dressed he crept up to the man. He was like a tiger readying to pounce when the man shifted in his sleep, his yellow eyes peeling open. Before the man could move or let alone flinch, Kirk was upon him, beating the living shit out of him.

He grabbed the man by his hair and threw him out of the chair. The man scrambled to his feet only to be welcomed by a gut punch followed by a knee to the noggin. Kirk stood over the man briefly, his lungs clawing for oxygen. At that moment the man reached into his pants' pocket and pulled out a hidden blade. When Jim reached down to grasp the man, the man made his move.

The blade sliced his forearm and he yelped in surprise. The man grinned and gathered to his feet, holding the blade confidently. Kirk flinched when he jabbed at him. But the man was only toying with him. Kirk's stomach churned when the man chuckled and lunged again, colliding into Kirk's chest.

The man almost started going at it again if it wasn't for the punch to the face that caused him to roll off of his opponent. Kirk jumped to his feet but the man grasped him by his hair and tossed him into the wall. Jim smashed his head, leaving a dent.

Dazed Kirk glanced around and then felt something odd. His breath was stuck. Fluid rushed up his throat causing him to gag. What is happening? Jim tried to speak but failed.

The man stepped away, revealing a bloodied blade in his hand. He just laughed and turned away.

Kirk took the moment and leapt to his feet, knocking the man over and sent the blade skidding. Jim then proceeded to pummel the man until he was a giant blob of bruises and blood.

Shakily Kirk got to his feet and searched through the apartment until he found all of his things, leaving the man to wail in misery.

Kirk didn't feel any sympathy for the man, but despite his feelings he started to cry when he stepped out the door. Usually he would have held it together, but this wasn't the physical pain he was crying about, it was the mental trauma.

Jim walked several more blocks until collapsing onto the dirt road, his tears rolling off of his cheeks. He needed to compose himself before he radioed Enterprise.

He sat there for about ten minutes before receiving the strength to grasp his coms in his pocket.

"En-Enter-prise, this is-this is Ja-James T. Kir-Kirk, do you re-read?" Kirk's voice trembled; he tried to stay calm but couldn't stop his hands and lungs from shaking.

"We read you Captain, what is your current location and medical situation?" Came Spock's voice through the other end.

Kirk smiled and chuckled, "Great to hear your voice." Jim muttered.

"Captain, do you need medical attention?" Spock asked, his voice sounding concerned.

"Spock I'm f-fine. And my location . . . about that . . ." Kirk trailed off as he glanced around.

Yup. Shit. He had no idea where he was.

There was a slight pause on Spock's end and Kirk tried his best to keep himself composed. No need to start crying.

"Captain we have a lock on your current location. Don't move." Spock informed him and Kirk sighed.

"Not goin' anywhere." Jim slurred as he was whisked away.

The next moment he was in the Enterprise, Bones, Scotty and Spock waiting for him on the other side.

"What the hell happened to you?" Scotty gasped in his accent and Leonard was immediately by his side.

"Shit, kid. What the hell happened?" Bones snapped, bringing him off of the platform and onto the hard floor.

"Shit-ha-happened." Kirk murmured and then winced as Bones applied pressure.

"You said you were in no need of medical attention." Spock stated gazing down at him.

"I-I for-forgot." Jim mumbled and felt the pain increase.

"He's going into shock. Kid, stay with me!" Bones patted the side of his face.

"Jim, open your eyes." The Doctor said, this time he sounded more encouraging and soothing.

"Mmm, no . . . no . . ." Kirk mumbled his mind spinning away.

Kirk heard voices talk over him and felt his eyelids be peeled open and a light shined into them. Jim groaned his complaint. His world then started to move, and he was placed onto a gurney, being wheeled down the hall into the medical facility.

After being placed onto a proper bed the doctors began to remove his clothes by cutting it off with scissors. This got an immediate reaction out of him.

Automatically his brain told him it was happening again, in response Kirk thrashed and cowered away to anybody trying to touch him. A few moments went by until Bones got some restraints on him, which only increased the panic.

"Hurry get a sedative into him and get the wound cleaned out! Hold on kid, you're gonna be fine, just stop kicking us." Bones told him reassuringly, patting his leg.

Kirk felt the needle side through his skin and the thick liquid injected into his body. His mind clouded and his body slumped into the mattress. Within a few seconds he was asleep, giving the doctors some peace.

* * *

"Yes, physically he's in perfect health . . ." A voice murmured.

It seemed far away, like it was from a different world.

"When will he awake Doctor?" A familiar voice asked, followed by shuffling of feet.

"Well honestly it's completely up to him. Look Spock, he's been through mental trauma there's no way to know when he'll awake." Bones replied.

Kirk noticed the voices and sounds got sharper as he became more lucid.

"Well please inform me the moment he awakes." Spock responded and walked off, Bones just sighed.

Kirk laid there for a few minutes, relaxing his muscles.

Jim flexed his fingers, curling them into a ball. He was tired, exhausted. A little traumatized, but he could get past that right? To be honest with himself, he had no idea; just the thought of it sent him into a fit of shivers. He could almost feel the hot breath against his skin, the rocking motion that caused him to groan.

Kirk must have suddenly moaned aloud without realizing because he felt Bones grasp his arm.

"You awake Jim?" McCoy asked and felt the sides of his face.

"Hmmm." Jim moaned and Bones smiled.

"That's it, kid. Lemme see your pretty eyes." The Doctor joked and Kirk's eyes did open.

"Ahh that's a good boy." Leonard smirked and patted his shoulder causing Kirk to flinch.

"Hey Spock, he's awake." McCoy stated through the coms after walking several paces away from Kirk.

"I was just down there about five minutes ago." Spock muttered and Bones smiled.

"Are you complaining?" Astonishment was clearly in his tone.

"I'll be right there Doctor McCoy." Spock replied firmly and Bones nodded.

"Alright." He spoke into the coms before switching his off.

With a sigh Bones turned to face Kirk. He walked up slowly and studied the horrified expression on the Captain's face.

"What did they do to you out there?" The Doctor asked, his eyebrows bunching together and his face filling with worry.

Kirk looked his way, his jaw shaking but he found no words to say. Bones just gave him a gentle smile.

"It's alright, tell me when you're ready." McCoy muttered, stroking his arm then checking his vitals.

Spock trotted up to them after a few moments of silence.

"Hello Captain, glad to see you're awake." Spock told him politely and Kirk just twitched his lips in response.

"Are you alright?" Spock asked, the words coming off awkwardly.

Kirk's lips parted but no words followed and Spock and Bones took a glance at each other than back at their Captain.

"Not very talkative today." Stated Leonard, crossing his arms.

"Very well Captain, when you are well again, I'll be glad to see you back on the bridge." Spock informed him and before he left he gave a slight bow.

Bones' gaze followed Spock until he had left the room entirely and he then gazed back at Kirk.

"Look kid, you gotta talk sometime, the sooner the better in my opinion. Anyways, I can't send you back to your quarters until we find out what happened to you. So for now this is your home. Call me when you feel the urge to talk." Bones told him then brushed his leg as he stalked off to tend to other patients.

* * *

Kirk slumped in his bed, blue eyes squeezing shut.

If only those things didn't happen. He could feel it, see it, and smell it. Oh god, he felt like he was back on that awful bed. He could hear the bed giving its complaint by creaking with the constant movement and the two bodies upon it groaning.

Jim didn't even realize that he had started crying until Bones walked up to him, his expression odd.

"Hey, kid. It's alright, whatever happened out there, forget about it, it's ancient history." Bones told him reassuringly, but now that he had noticed Kirk, Kirk couldn't stop the shaking and the flowing of tears.

"Do you want to talk to someone kid? I can get Spock down here." Bones asked, edging closer.

Kirk shook his head, his hands covering his face.

"C'mon kid, you gotta talk to me." The Doctor told him encouragingly, but Kirk shook his head again.

"Listen, I don't wanna sign you up for a psychiatrist, that'll put it on the permanent record. Plus it'll take you off of commanding duty for months or maybe forever." McCoy informed him and walked off with a sigh.

Kirk's lips almost twitch into a smile, but tears welled in his eyes.

He didn't want to think about, but here he found himself . . . thinking about it. Shit. He wished he had never left, never had taken that drink, never had let his guard down. Oh how stupid he was!

Jim bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling.

The tears were stopping now, his breathing slowing and his heartbeat calming. His mind was fogged, but he could see some things clearly, like they were flares in the dark of night. Those things were the memories of what had happened.

It was like a broken record player, playing the same part over and over again.


	2. Chapter 2

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"James Tiberius Kirk, a restless, young, defiant, rebellious, charming Captain of the USS Enterprise and just because he's a daring Captain doesn't mean he doesn't get himself into some real trouble, but this time it was different, very different."_

A Little Rattled Up That's All

 **Disclaimer: _*Warning! Contains adult themes, such as swearing, sexual content, suicide mentions, and violence, for mature readers only*_**

 **Chapter 2: Bones Please**

Kirk squeezed his blue eyes shut, ignoring the beeping, talking, and stomping. He wanted sleep so desperately, he wanted to be able to forget. Of course that didn't happen, more than likely it'll never happen. It's just one of those things that he'd have to live with for the rest of his life.

Jim was tangled in his thoughts he hadn't realized Bones had walked back over to him, a PADD in his grasp.

"Hey kid, you gotta sleep. You're over stressing and we need you to calm down and get some rest. Alright?" Bones informed him, scrolling through his vitals.

"You've been awake for the past ten hours." Bones stated and Kirk's jaw dropped.

Awake for ten hours, no way. It only seemed like mere minutes and yet here's Bones telling him that it's been hours. No way. There's no way in hell he's believing it.

"Look I can either sedate you, or you can sleep yourself, it's up to you. Also by tomorrow morning you'll be all cleared to sleep in your quarters, if you tell me what happened that is." McCoy muttered and gazed into the Captain's weary gaze.

"Get some shut eye, Jim." Bones smirked and patted his shoulder before leaving.

Kirk sighed. No way in hell. Not ten hours, more like ten minutes, if that. But he did sure feel tired.

Shit. Is he losing his mind? Yup, he's gonna sleep now.

Jim shut his heavy eyes. Sleep found him easily but didn't let him sleep for long. His slumber was haunted, full of his nightmares. He spent most of the night thrashing back and forth.

* * *

He awoke at four in the morning, well at least in the ship's day and night cycle that is.

His body was covered with sweat, his eyes bloodshot. Kirk rolled his head over and saw a figure sitting beside him. The figure was tall and slim, the slight light reflecting off of their gleaming eyes.

"You're awake." Spock stated, seeing that the Captain's blue eyes had peeled halfway open.

Kirk just grunted in response, head pounding slightly.

"Feeling the urge to speak now?" Spock questioned, his head tilted slightly.

Kirk just moaned his response unable to speak any words. He wished he could console his partner reassure him he was fine, but his voice was lost at sea.

"What happened exactly? I know you were at bar, but what happened after. I have no information to go off of to make any sort of calculations to determine any outcomes." Spock stated and Kirk rolled his eyes a whimper escaping his lips.

"I know it is against regulations, but would you like to take a walk with me? I won't inform the Doctor if that pleases you." Spock asked suddenly and Kirk nodded his head.

Kirk saw a slight smirk appear onto Spock's face as he helped him into a sitting position.

With Spock's arms wrapped around him, Kirk swung his legs over the lip of the bed and pressed his soles to the ground. The coolness of the ground gave a slight sensation of freedom as he took his first step. Spock was still firmly guiding him as they walked further out.

When Kirk got the hang of it, only a gentle hand lay on his back for stability as they roamed the empty halls.

Their walk was in silence, their expressions conveying the unsaid words that longed to be whispered. Their thoughts mingled through the starry night, neither one wanting to break the silence of the night, afraid that it will only consume the other.

After an hour or so Spock finally paused in stride and Kirk did the same.

Jim gazed at his friend, his mouth partially parted for speech, but he gave none.

"Captain . . . Jim, you most tell me . . ." Spock muttered, his voice fading which was unusual for him.

He was at loss for words. Shit, this was serious now.

Kirk swallowed, hoping Spock didn't see the unmanly tears starting to pool. A weak whimper escaped his lips and his jaw trembled. What can he say? What will he say?

"Spock." Jim breathed and that was enough to make his friend smile.

"Jim." Spock replied, placing a hand on his shoulder and Jim struggled to compose himself.

"Spock, I-I, I don't know how to-to tell you this, but I-but I got into some real trouble Spock. Some real trouble." Kirk's voice cracked and he covered his mouth with his hand and Spock shifted his jaw slightly.

Jim was smirking, trying to stop his jaw from trembling. His eyes were rebellious; they didn't listen and continued to cry.

Kirk swallowed and his face pulled into a smile as a few tears slipped by.

"Spock, there-there was a-another man . . . Spock." Jim voice cracked into a whisper and Spock tried his best to remain emotionless, but he could feel his human side taking over.

"Captain . . . Jim, it's completely normal to feel emotionally unstable after a traumatic experience. But I must know what that experience was." Spock informed the shaking Captain, his hands placed on his shoulders.

"Spock, there was-was a . . . a man in my bed, what do-do you not understand?" Jim was crumbling now, his knees wobbling.

Spock instantly regretted his insertion and clamped his mouth shut. Jim was falling apart, his hands covering his face from Spock's unwavering gaze.

The Vulcan opened his mouth to speak, and then thought better of it.

The Captain now could no longer stand and he collapsed to the floor, his chest heaving mighty sobs. Spock crouched down beside him, peeling Jim's hands from his face to stare into his ocean blue eyes. Jim took a shuddering breath and gazed back. His eyes were red and swelling with tears that made his face blotchy.

Spock sighed and placed his hands on either side of Kirk's face, and with his thumbs rubbed the tears from his cheeks. Jim's face began to quiver again with sobs so in response Spock wrapped the human into a hug.

Jim almost fought it, wanting to push the Vulcan from him. But Spock only clung on harder until the Captain gave in to his unmanly affection.

Spock placed Kirk's head to his shoulder and kept his hand in his hair. The Vulcan was struggling to keep the tears back now.

Spock didn't know how long they remained in that position, but when he finally did begin to pull away he noticed that Kirk was sound asleep.

Muscles straining, Spock managed to get Jim into a standing position, from there he scooped his body up into his arms. His body in the cradle position, his arms and feet dangling, Spock carried him through the halls.

He reached Kirk's quarters and slid the door back, which was easy because his door was unlocked. Spock then proceeded to place Kirk into his own bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin. Jim moaned slightly but Spock hushed him and turned off the lights.

Without a sound, Spock exited the room and returned to his own. When he awoke he would inform Doctor McCoy of Kirk's confession.

* * *

Bones was rushing down the hall, his heart racing. This morning his alarm went off and about five minutes later he received a warning on his PADD. When he checked it, the device informed him of Jim's vitals, which were spiking in all different directions. So now, Bones was running to Kirk's room, getting a bit queasy in the stomach.

When he reached the room, he opened the door immediately, finding that he didn't need to punch in his medical code. It felt like ages until the door finally slid back all the way and Bones shut the door behind himself.

What he saw before him, sent chills down his spine.

Kirk was pacing back and forth, pants coming through his lips. His eyes were wide rimmed and his limbs were shaking. His hair stood up on end and he was muttering something under his breath.

"Jim?" Bones called out, taking a few steps towards his commanding officer. But Kirk ignored him, continuing his pacing and frantic murmuring.

"Jim, please . . ." Bones trailed off as he got closer.

"Jim, snap out of it!" Bones snapped, grasping his Captain by the shoulders and turning him around so he could face him.

Kirk's expression solidified for a moment and Bones could see the old Kirk. But the moment rapidly disappeared and he returned to his unstable state.

Jim simply shrugged off Bones' helping hands and went back to his pacing and murmuring.

"Jim!" McCoy grasped him by his medical gown and slammed him into the nearby wall, which greatly startled Jim.

"Bones I just don't want it to happen! Oh please god take these memories I don't want them anymore! They haunt me Bones and they won't go away. Just give me a gun Bones, I tried and I couldn't but I can now Bones, I can. Just one gun and one pull of the trigger. Please Bones be a good friend and end this please Bones . . ." The restless Captain rambled, shaking within the Doctor's grip.

"Jim . . ." Bones was at loss, his voice stuck in his throat.

"Please Bones I'm ready now. I want it, I want this, please Bones. Don't send me back, don't make me sleep. I don't want sleep, sleep hurts me and when I hurt nobody helps. I'm all alone Bones. I'm all alone." Jim was trembling, oxygen no longer flowing steadily through his lungs, he was hyperventilating.

Bones was shaken, scared shit.

"Jim you need to stop, your vitals are through the roof. You could have a-" Bones finally managed to say but he was cut short when Jim started to panic.

Jim's lungs clawed for air, but received little.

He was shaking uncontrollably and Bones was just watching.

"Bones . . . !" He whimpered and crumbled in his arms.

"Dammit Jim!" The Doctor swore as he barely managed to get Jim to sit upright for the Captain had immediately gone into the fetal position.

"Jim! Jim, listen to me, calm down. You need to breathe, just breathe dammit!" McCoy told him, feeling no breath escaping Jim's lips.

Bones froze, he almost didn't know what to do, he had his med kit but that wasn't going to help the kid's emotional trauma here.

As if instinctual, Bones pulled his friend onto his lap and pressed him close to his chest.

"Just breathe kid." Bones rasped, his voice almost coming to a whisper in the silent room.

"Bones . . ." Jim muttered and Bones' face cringed into the normal scowl.

"Shut up kid, and catch your breath, dammit." Leonard replied and he could've sworn he saw Jim smirk at the remark.

Bones sighed and placed his hand into the wheezing Captain's hair, he immediately felt him tense up, then relax as he stroked steadily through the blond hair.

Slowly, Jim's hyperventilating died down and he began to suck in full amounts of oxygen. Bones continued to play with Jim's hair, knowing that it would help calm the kid.

"Bones?" Kirk's voice whispered hoarsely after a few long moments and Bones smiled down at him.

"Yeah kid?" Bones replied softly, his chest filling in with relief.

"I need to tell you-" Jim started and Bones sighed.

"I know kid, I knew the minute we got you into the Sick Bay what had happened to you." Bones informed him and Kirk took a shuddered breath.

"Jim, those machines tell you everything, plus you showed all the physical and mental signs . . . But enough talk about it, doesn't matter now." Bones talked and Jim sighed at the soothing tone of his voice.

"Just two things Jim, first: no more panic attacks-" Jim laughed slightly and Bones continued, "-and two: no secrets. Got it?"

"Mmhmm Bones." Jim mumbled and Bones smirked.

"That's a good boy, Jimmy." The Doctor replied and gave the Captain a good hair ruffling before helping him to his feet.

* * *

Kirk returned to his normal duties the following day. Bones was beside him for most of the time and was always handing him drinks and snacks, for more than once had Jim almost passed out on duty.

The days went by slowly but the nights were slower. Spock and Bones took turns checking in on their Captain, most nights he was only giving silent complaints in his sleep, but others it was full on thrashing and waking up with screams. When this happened it was up to Spock or Bones to soothe him to sleep. He didn't like it, and most of the time he refused their comforting words.

Deep down Jim did find comfort waking up to Spock or Bones sitting in a chair beside his bed, sleeping soundlessly. Eventually Jim got into the habit of waking up at two in the morning to walk either one of them back to their room.

After about a little over a month, things went back to normal. Jim had a few late nights which involved drinking but he was through the worst of it. Bones had acted as his psychiatrist and Spock was his shoulder to lean on. He didn't shed any tears in front of them anymore but both men knew he sometimes had tearful nights.

About three months later Jim had finally got another trip. He was suited up, a smile curving his lips, and his eyes gleaming.

Bones smirked, Jim was finally genuinely happy. His teeth was white and shiny and his giggle he gave as he saw Spock almost trip over his own feet made Bones' eyes well with tears. Jim was himself, yes he had those late nights and shameful memories but this was as good as it was gonna get and Bones decided to enjoy it.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Go check out my new story "Confused", it's full of new Kirk whump. Plus I need your judgement on the story. Thanks for reading! Love ya guys, make sure you leave a review so I can improve these lousy fictions I keep writing :)


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